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Mental Wellbeing - a journey shared

As you know, we are looking to recruit a Psychological Wellbeing Worker. One of our volunteers kindly wrote a blog about their experiences with Mental Wellbeing.....

Counselling really can change your life .

If someone had told me a few years back I’d be saying this I would of laughed in their face. I thought all this therapy stuff was a load of crap and workers way of palming my problems off on someone else but here I am I believe therapy is magic when you believe and trust in the process. I’m a care leavers who had BPD, seasonal depression, OCD, eating disorder not otherwise specified along with other unhealthy habits used to cope and get through life’s dark days.

I’ve been on many NHS waiting lists only to be told they only offer 6 to 10 sessions and I needed much more than that so they would offer me none as not to open a can of worms and not have the time to deal with it.

I’ve been under the crisis team even seeing them more than once a week at times as I couldn’t keep myself safe or well.

I’ve been under camhs from the age of 14 and passed round countless other services in a bid to get the help I needed.

I’ve been having counselling with Beacon for about 2 years. I’ve dipped in and out of counselling and then finished by having EMDR. This is to help me deal with my traumas and my past as well as living with my mental health conditions.

Therapy is hard work but nothing in ever came easy and if you put in the work therapy really does change your life.

I went into therapy thinking life’s a struggle I might as well give it a try but not really believing it would change much. I went in with no trust and my guard up but over time I built a trusting relationship with my therapist. She worked with me in a way that worked for me. She let me take breaks from therapy when I needed because she trusted I’d do what I thought was best for me. She knew I was there because I wanted to give this a try. I began to trust her and tell her more and more and things in my life started to change. I made massive changes to my life things I thought I’d never be strong enough to do. The more work I put in the more things improved at one point I thought I’d done all the therapy I needed to and my life was ok so I stopped seeing my therapist but then I had a really bad BPD melt down and became really unwell to the point I truly believed I wouldn’t be able to not kill my self. I’d self harmed and cut my face lost half a stone not slept and done nothing but cry but my therapist gave me an appointment that week. I went in and said my life’s fallen apart so I’m back. I cried it out and then she helped me rebuild my life she listened she cared and she believed I could change my life before I believed it.

I faced my demons so I could move forward things I never thought I’d be strong enough to face but the only way to move on from so things is to face it deal with it and go though the pain to move forward.

She gave me the power to trust my gut, trust my own mind. She made me see I can survive a lot and that my past is my past it doesn’t have to ruin my future it can motivate me to be and do good things and use my experiences in a positive way.

I still have my mental health conditions. I still struggle, but now I believe in my own mind I know I’m strong and now nobody has the power to break me things that once would of triggered me or sent me off track I now take in my stride.

EMDR, well, all I can say is it’s the strangest thing ever!! I don’t know how or why it works but it does. It lets unprocessed traumas and memories pass through your brain and stop them having such a big impact. You start with a target memory that’s what you want to work on for me this was some abuse in my past but things come up you didn’t even realise affected you e.g. I have a dream every now and then where I can’t talk it’s not a bad dream I’m just doing normal things but I just can’t talk and that came up in EMDR. I realised why I dream it and what it meant I had no voice at times in my life and those memories were stuck in my brain I didn’t think someone moving a pen side to side while your eyes follow it could do anything sounds like some hippy dippy crap but it works and connects up dots you never though were even connected.

So as I said therapy is magic but only if you if you believe and trust in the process and put in the work.

Your past doesn’t have to define your future Choose happy Choose to break the cycle Choose to become better not bitter Choose who you want to become And prove the doubters wrong

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